A few months ago I had a job opportunity I didn’t want to turn down. The timing seemed to work out perfectly. I was able to transition my 3 year old son from part time parent’s day out to full time daycare the week I took on the job. The transition worked out perfectly for my son since his new classroom was right next door to the old one. He still got to see his friends and teachers that he has become attached to. My son took on this new change with no problem at all. I cried on my way to work every day for the first week. It was really hard for me to let go and spend so much time away from my little boy.
As the weeks went on I quit being hard on myself and took on my role as a working mom. I really only got to spend 2-3 hours a day with my kids during the week so we really took advantage of our weekends. We made sure to spend time together and disconnect from technology by going hiking and spending time with friends and family on the weekends. Our family has discovered a new love for the outdoors and our beautiful surroundings that we are so lucky to have.
So what went wrong? Why did I decide to take my son out of full time daycare? Well nothing really went wrong. I enjoyed the job and still plan to do the work that’s given to me from this job. I just came to the realization that my son will be going off to Kindergarten in a year and my children are growing up way too fast for me to spend all of my time in an office while I pay someone to raise my child. I realize this may be a statement that could be offensive to many working moms. I do not mean to offend working moms at all. When you are a working mom you do the best you can with the time you are given. And a lot of working moms do not have a choice to not be a working mom and other working moms love being working moms and thrive. So major kudos to you working moms out there who make it work. I obviously am not one of those moms. I can’t handle only seeing my kids for 2-3 hours a day. I feel like my days consisted of waking the kids up, feeding them breakfast, rushing them out the door to school, working all day, picking the kids up, cooking dinner, working on homework, bathtime and then bedtime. At anytime between any of these activities was bound to be a breakdown for myself, one of the kids or my husband because at any given time one or all of us were worn down and grouchy. This is not a lifestyle that is ok with me.
So what did I do to change things? Starting this week I put my son back in his old parent’s day out class. He will only be in school on Tuesdays and Thursdays. My work load has not really changed. I have just as much work, if not more work to do. This just means I’m going to have to be a master at managing my time. Luckily in my field of web development I can work remotely. And I’ve also taken on a few money making ventures. Between my web development business with Agilibility, my Beachbody coach business, my job as a Young Living distributor and picking back up with my blog here at Mom Elite I’m confident I’ll be able to make this work. All of these jobs allow me to do the things that I love and live a healthier and active lifestyle all while spending the time that I need with my family.
Best of luck! I work from home & couldn’t imagine getting my job done with my daughter here. On days when she is home sick, I can barely give her any attention at all because my job is very demanding & we both end up stressed! I wish I could find a way to manage it all!
Time goes by so quickly! We need to soak up those moments we have with our children 🙂 Great move!
Isn’t it crazy how quickly our kids grow up? I think you made a great choice and as long as you are good with your choice your family will benefit
I have cut back my hours drastically since I gave birth to my 3rd child last June. Time goes by so quickly. I regret having to work so much when my 1st was born, I feel like I missed out on so much of her early childhood.
I know that feeling all too well. I started back to college when I was pregnant with my son. I feel like I would have been a much better mother and far less stressed had I not taken on so much. We can’t take back time so we just have to make the best of the time we have now.
Thanks for sharing! Time really does fly by. I made a similar decision this past October with my then 3 year old son. He is 4 now and goes to Kindergarten this coming September and the heavy heart I had all the time eventually made the decision for me. I have received some not-so-positive comments from people who are working moms. It is a privilege I have to make this decision and I feel so blessed that I can. I wish you lots of luck and love with the balancing act you are endeavoring on.<3
I hate that there seems to be this war between working and stay at home moms. I’ve been on both sides and both have their challenges. Ultimately you just have to do what’s best for you and your family. Good luck with Kindergarten! My daughter loved Kindergarten and we have very fond memories.
I stopped working outside the house because those 2 or 3 hours a day I got to see my kids? They weren’t at their best. I didn’t feel I could really get to know them. Kuddos to you!
My husband also works remotely as a Senior Systems Engineer for Walmart’s ISD. The last year of being home with my youngest gave them so much time to bond it was amazing. They went from being ‘pals’ to best buddies.
Good for you for doing what you want and being able to do it. I think the whole work at home mom vs stay at home mom vs working mom boils down to whats best and viable for each mom.
Good luck with kindergarten next year, it’s so much fun to watch them grow up in it.
I work part time so I’m there most of the time yet the guilt is still there. 🙂 I wish you the best. They do grow fast and once that time is gone, it’s gone.
About 8 years ago, I summoned the courage to quit my job, pull my girls out of daycare, and start my home-based business. One of the BEST decisions I’ve ever made… I love how you do not place guilt on those who find joy outside the home, but like in your case, that is not for me either. Funny how I’m also in web development but mostly on the marketing side. You rock and if you need anything, please let me know how to support you!
Thank you for the support! I’m definitely of the guilt free mind set. Every family is different!
I just started working full time and have a nanny home with my son during the day. Your post makes me feel like I’m missing out, but I think we are all much happier now. I can’t be an effective parent when I’m home all day and really don’t feel fulfilled. Now when I see my son I am focused on him 100%–even though I still have a blog to write for and a household to manage.
I don’t mean to make anyone feel like they are missing out! You really do have to do what is best for you and your family! I thought working full time while my son was in daycare would give me that fulfillment so I could focus 100% on him while I was with him. Unfortunately in my line of work it tends to follow me home so I still felt divided in the evenings. Just keep doing what works for you and your family and don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for it!
Good for you! I know how hard this is. I’ve not worked full time outside the home since my daughter was born. For me, the best fit was for me to work part time and have my daughter in day care two days a week. My husband was home with her one other day out of the week, so I was able to work 3 full days a week and that was perfect. It gave me time for myself and my career while still feeling like a “good” mother (whatever that means!). Now I work from home about 30 hours a week and have my daughter home with me. Not doing so well with that :-/
I think no matter what we do it’s hard to find balance to everything to feel like a “good” mom.