Last night my 8 year old daughter and I were discussing sleepovers. She’s never had a sleepover at a friends house. We’ve kept her sleepovers to just family members. I’m very, very cautious about where my daughter goes and would have to know the parents really, really well before I would even consider letting her go to a sleepover. Well last night while we were discussing sleepovers she threw a big complication into the sleepover idea. She said, “I would love to have a sleepover with *insert boys name here*.” Even though I know her best friends at school are boys I was not ready for that. At all. Now this is a purely hypothetical discussion since she has not been invited to sleepover at any of these boys houses and probably never will. I just wasn’t really sure how to respond to this innocent request. I’ll admit my knee jerk reaction was “No, you can’t have a sleepover with boys.” That reaction was met with an innocent, “Well, why not? They are my best friends.”
At 8 years old having a boyfriend is not even on her radar. Some of the kids in her class will tease her and her best friend and tell them they are boyfriend and girlfriend. They always act disgusted and roll their eyes at them. So even though I know they are at a purely innocent age I would still have a hard time letting my little girl go to a sleepover at a little boys house. I honestly can’t pin point exactly why. Maybe it’s one of the few aspects of my life where I’m old fashioned. Or maybe I’m just overprotective of my baby girl. I just can’t seem to put into words to her why I would never allow her to have a sleepover with a little boy.
During our conversation I just tried to change directions and ask her if she would be interested in having a sleepover with some of the girls in her class. She of course said she would. She just wasn’t nearly as excited about it. They like to play princesses and Barbies. She likes to play Sonic and Mario. So I guess for right now I’ll just hope she never gets an invitation for a sleepover at a little boys house so we’ll never even have a cross this bridge.
How do you all feel about co-ed sleepovers? Would you let your child, either boy or girl attend a co-ed sleepover?
Oh my gosh, this is a really good question to bring up. My kids are still little and not at this point yet, but I will be following this to see what other moms think. 🙂
HUMMM, well I am going to say it would depend… Most part on age, and who the kids are. That is a hard one, and I think you made the right choice. However, we do have a kid that we have basically raised, my daughter and him are the best of friends and I do allow him to stay over, but he is really family. He spends more time at my house than his own, I have watched him since he was a baby. Other boys that are friends I would have to say no to, it’s hard and kids don’t understand.
I definitely think it’s different if it’s a kid that practically family. You not only have a good relationship with the kid, but also the kids family.
I don’t think I would be comfortable either if my daughter wanted to sleepover in a boys house.
I personally have no issue with it at a young age. We put such a stigma on things and forget that if we raise them with good morals and values it will carry through into their everyday life and help them make great choices.
See this is where I had my dilemma. I’ve tried so hard not to push gender stereotypes on my kids and I would hate to push this gender stereotype.
No, I would not be comfortable with a co-ed sleepover. My response would have been something like, “Girls have sleepover with girls and boys have sleepover with boys.”
My son has done co’ed sleepovers with his cousin and two not as close family members. He loves to have them over and is super excited about it. I know it’s different and if it were not a family it would probably be a bit more difficult to arrange.
Hmm…. I don’t think I would unless it was kids I knew very well!!
I would have to say no to this one. And I am definitely old fashioned and I don’t mind.
NEVER… I attended one when I was younger 12-ish and it was (looking back) a horrible Idea. Closets, kisses, fights, etc… I will never allow my girl to attend a boy-girl sleepover.
Eek! 12 years old is way too old for a co-ed sleepover!
I’m not comfortable with co-ed sleepovers at all… It might be the conservative in me… but I would rather they just get together and play and go home.
Hmm.. this is a tough pickle. I’m guessing it depends a lot on their age and how many kids we are talking. Letting a 7 or 8 year old boy and girl have a sleepover is an entirely different thing than say.. a room full of boy and girls who are 15..
I do not think I could ever let my kids have co-ed sleepovers.
Years ago I would have felt it would be okay…But today after years of mentoring many parents in different situations I would say absolutely not! Children need guidance and making it Okay to a sleepover with the opposite sex in the same room seems to have caused many issues with the families that have allowed it, especially when the children got to their preteens and felt it was okay to sleep with the opposite sex because Mom and dad “allowed it” Now if you have different rooms and chaperones that are available and ALL of the parents understand that each sex will have their own sleeping area, this is a different situation.